At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Holy sore nipples Batman
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
