areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
