so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
