i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
