youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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