It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
