He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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