She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
