Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
