i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
