My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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