Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
