Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
