The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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