best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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