Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
