I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize