why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
