either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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