so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just had sex on a roof
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
