Yo dont text me then not text me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
