i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
