you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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