need another drink. this is the easiest way
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
