My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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