Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
