but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
