well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
