Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
