Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
