hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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