just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
