I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
