i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
