please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
