gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
