You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
