im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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