someone threw a dead crab at me
My first STD was from a foam party
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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