So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
