and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
