The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My Sexting was not on an AP level
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
