i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
