belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
