i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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