i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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