covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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