talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
