I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
