just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
