If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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