As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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