I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She told me I should be a condom model.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
