she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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