i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
