he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
