i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
