You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
