are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
